


All you have to do, is kiss me 'till I'm blue

by OnyourRadar



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Angst, But also very soft soft boys, Eliott falls in love with his patient, I drop you, I leave it ambiguous for you, Into the middle, M/M, Nurse! Eliott, OF THE STORY, Sadness, Sick!Lucas, Thats not your thing, aspect of their relationship, but this isn't focused on that, just in case, sick!fic, with a hopeful ending?, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:47:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25171846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnyourRadar/pseuds/OnyourRadar
Summary: Lucas has one request. He wants to experience a sunset and sunrise at the beach for the first--and possibly the only time-- in his life. Who should take him, but Eliott?
Relationships: Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant
Comments: 11
Kudos: 94





	All you have to do, is kiss me 'till I'm blue

**Author's Note:**

> From a request on tumblr

"I want to go to the beach." He says resolutely, fingers clenched tightly in the sheets. A smile flirting on his lips. A welcomed sight that offsets the hollow cheeks. "I want to see the sunset and stay long enough to watch the sun rise."

He wants to feel the salt dry his skin, wants to feel the waves lap at his ankles; to feel it embrace him like a lost love welcoming him home. 

"I want to feel the burn of the sun, mama." He grows quiet. Blue eyes eating up the invisible sights of a bright day and splashing waves.

"Lucas, baby….I—" her voice stops. Chokes on the no of concern, chokes on her want to give but lost on the notion of fear.

Eliott looks around him, at Lucas on the bed, his mother who sat with an overwhelming weight bearing down on her shoulders, and off to the side Yann— his arms crossed in the weakest show of protection Eliott has witnessed in all the time he has seen Yann walk in and out of the hospital room, standing tall next to his best friend. It is the first time Eliott has seen a wetness in those brown eyes. 

He watches as Yann swallows, throat bobbing and eyes blinking rapidly working fast to build back up that which was so easily torn down by Lucas' dried eye request. 

"We...I-I don't know if this is the best idea, Lucas, what if something were to happen, we could los—"

"Please, mama." His tone begs for no arguments because it was his only request. They would be cruel to deny him. And yet from a mother's perspective, Eliott could see she would gladly drape on that cloak of cruelty if only to be kind. To protect what little she had left of him. For as long as she could. 

"I'll take him." Eliott feels three pairs of eyes bore into him as his heart thunders in his chest but he would rather lose out to the beating of it than try to swallow back his words.

The silence only serves to amplify the echo of his offer.

"I'll—I'll take you." He repeats. Sounding more sure than he felt. He could pack precautions. He could treat wounds. He could take care of Lucas if anything were to happen. He could.

He could love him in the light of a dying day. 

He doesn't question himself or ask what on earth he was thinking when Lucas graces him with a smile that carried more life than anyone else in the room. 

"Thank you." And all Eliott can do was shake his head as his throat constricts, eyes burning as his beating heart steals his breath away. What he would do to simply give it to the boy how sat hunched and small on the bed. 

So Eliott sets the date and packs his car for the trip. He plans with the sight of Mrs. Lallemant sobbing in the hallway, begging him to keep Lucas safe. 

He packs a specific meal, sets multiple alarms on his phone, does a little shopping to make this trip perfect. For Lucas. For the two of them. He puts in a request for the weekend off and sets off with Lucas in the passenger seat of his car, palms pressed flat against the window in a silent farewell with his mother. Her lips wobble from the other side like it's the last time she was to see him. 

Eliott wants her to be more positive. Yet he doesn't fault her. When they are off he reaches in the middle console without taking his eyes off the road and hands Lucas his phone already set up.

He sees it from the corner of his eyes the way those thin fingers struggle to grasp at it fumbling for a moment and nearly dropping it. The nervous chuckle that follows warms Eliott to his core. 

"You choose the music." 

"Really?" 

Eliott nods his head and waits for sound to filter and fill the car. He's not surprised to hear the familiar guitar rifts thrumming through the speakers and catchy choruses of voices sound out. Lucas throws his head back belting out the words to a Clash song. His smile wide and breathtaking in the sunlight. 

Eliott grips the steering wheel tight, his smile faltering at the words carrying all around them making use of the acoustics of an enclosed space. 

_Should I stay or should I go?_

A question that has the words playing impishly on the tip of his tongue as his eyes stay steadfast on the road. 

Stay, _stay, **stay**_

He wants to shout to match the volume that is Lucas letting go. But Eliott keeps it all in because this weekend wasn't about him and his wants. Wasn't about the ache that wrapped around him pushing his thoughts into a darkened corner of his mind.

This weekend was for Lucas. 

And the decision for him to stay or go wasn't really theirs to make. No matter how much the pain in his chest burned, Eliott knew this truth intimately. 

So Lucas plays dj for the duration of their ride and Eliott buries his doubt even joining in and singing and butchering lyrics simply to hear the sound of Lucas laughing. When they arrive the stretch of beach is near empty at the approach of sunset. The skies carry lingering clouds that fade from a bright white to a blue pink—floating in wait of the sinking sun. 

When Eliott looks over at Lucas, his face is colored with awe, bathed in a golden light as his attention is grabbed the blue green undulation of the ocean. Lucas rolls down the window ans and sticks his arm out, just to feel the difference in the air. A slow and gradual process of acclimating to something unknown. 

When he turns towards Eliott, childish wonder written on his face, Eliott knows that he has given away his heart and it's too late to ask for it back. 

"Go find us a spot. I'll set up." It is all the invitation that Lucas needs before he is out of the car, feel hitting sand. He pauses and Eliott watches as he bends to pick up a handful before tossing it to the air. 

Eliott smiles wryly as he grabs everything: a cooler and small duffel packed with everything they could need. He makes his way over, pace slower and lays out their belongings not too far from the shore. 

He packed sandwiches to nibble on but the excitement he reads in the lines of Lucas shoulders as he stands facing the horizon, dipping his toes in the cold water, tells Eliott they would not be eating anytime soon. 

Eliott closes the distance between them. When he's close enough to touch Lucas turns and Eliott finds his breath catching at the sight he makes. An image of something that was achingly beautiful. In that moment Eliott comes to the conclusion that the sight of someone breaking isn't always accompanied by tears. 

With Lucas, he was smiling. 

Before he can say anything, Lucas has stripped off his shirt, throwing it to the side. 

"Catch me." The wind carries his request and like that he turns and runs into the water, feet stumbling on shifting sand till he trips and submerges himself. 

And Eliott would catch him a thousand times over. Every time he fell. Eliott willingly falls with him. 

When he shoots up, frame trembling ans hands wiping the water from his eyes he is absolutely glowing. He turns to look at Eliott, arms held out and beckoning and Eliott gladly gives in. Shedding his own shirt and jumping into the frigid water, laughing away the tears that threatened to fall. 

"How does it feel?" He calls out, voice hoarse. 

Lucas doesn't let him get close enough to hold, stepping away until he gets a little deeper each time. He moves his arms fingers skimming the surface. 

"It burns." He replies, just as a wave splashes him from behind causing his shoulders to go up ans his back to arch as his body attempts to run from the cold. 

Eliott laughs but concern beats away at him for how quickly Lucas' lips bleed into a pretty, pretty lavender. Eliott blinks it away as he shields himself from a splash and Lucas repeats,

"Catch me." And it is all Eliott can do but sear the image of Lucas— surrounded by water, arms extended and splashing away droplets that arch in the air catching the light and glimmering in the sun—into his memory. 

He wants to reach out and say, _"Come back to me."_ But he is left witness as Lucas embraces this small piece of life. 

It is only minutes after this game of cat and mouse begins, minutes of chasing waves, before Lucas stumbles into Eliott's arms out of breath, feeling what Eliott can imagine is a whole body exhaustion. Because he trembles, muscles jumping in a way that isn't quite brought on by the cold. He insists on them standing there, waist deep in water...his back flushed against Eliott's chest. Head thrown to the side as Eliott nuzzles his neck—watching the sun sink and dousing the ocean in a tranquil orange. 

He sighs contentedly and lets Eliott carry him out of the water before drying him off with a fluffy towel and draping a throw blanket across his shivering shoulders. Lucas sits and watches as Eliott builds the fire, he urges Lucas to scoot closer. Warm his toes. 

Hands him a sandwich and is aware that Lucas only nibbles on it but he doesn't push like he normal would. Instead he digs in the cooler, pulls out two stemless wine glasses—pours a cup for the both of them. 

Lucas cocks a brow and Eliott smiles. 

"Mocktails." Lucas snorts and handles the glass delicately. He nurses his drink as he stares out at the empty shore, eyes flickering to the fire occasionally as he loses himself in thought.

He was an otherworldly sight—a daydream in the midnight sun illuminated by the stars and warm glow of a flickering fire. 

A sight Eliott was trying desperately trying to hold on to.

“Thank you.” Lucas whispers into the whipping wind, eyes glued to the crashing wash of waves on the sandy beach; a distant echo of a rush and rumble that accompanies the crackling fire at their feet. 

Lucas sits with his knees drawn up, arms folded on top, one hand gripping the edge of a throw blanket pulling it tight over bony shoulders. His other hand peeks out from the gap, thin fingers picking at his chapped lips. Lips that Eliott wants to kiss until they’re red and wet and swollen with love. 

Lucas shifts and Eliott’s attention is pulled down, watching as those toes curl and uncurl in the sand and he imagines that Lucas is silently counting the individual grains, loving the grit against his skin; a new feeling, one he’s never felt before until today. 

When Eliott looks back up Lucas is turned towards him with a slant of his body, smiling. He looks frail in the moonlight; lips blue from the cold and hair still damp from his earlier dip in the sea. When Lucas moves, crawls closer until their sides are pressed together Eliott wraps one arm around him and holds on for dear life. 

“If the surgery goes well—will you take me here again?”

_With just us two._

Eliott finds himself quickly sinking. Finds that he is powerless to the utter sadness that echoes in the chamber of his heart. A sound that calls out in the voice of one who has made his peace. But Eliott doesn’t want to accept that. 

The burn he feels in the back of his throat, the difficulty he faces in swallowing past his feelings—Eliott imagines that this is simply the bridge built between Lucas and him. Cobblestones that are laid out only to crumble under the pressure.

His fingers tighten and when he looks down at weary eyes watching him expectantly, he breaks into a smile that masks his fears. A smile that refuses to let go of the one thing he doesn’t want to lose. 

_“When,"_ his voice breaks as he forces it out. "—it goes well and you’ve recovered. I’ll take you here everyday.” So that they might fall in love over and over against crashing waves and skin drying sea foam. 

“I’ll take you here so often you’ll get tired of it.” Get tired of seeing the sun kiss the horizon good night, memorize the patterns of the stars in the sky.So often that the air would cease to taste of salt and more of love. 

“You’ll get tired of me.”

Lucas shakes his head with an indulgent smile on his face. “Impossible. Because of you…with you I have no regrets.” And Lucas seals his words with thin arms, thrumming with an unbearable strength, wrapping around Eliott; hands clutching and weaving into his hair. 

Eliott stops fighting and he lets out a heaving breath that is weighted by the agony he feels in his bone. An agony that he would willingly keep if it meant having Lucas be here. In his arms for the rest of their lives.

He turns his head so that the steady beating of a heart grounds him. Tells him that Lucas has life in him and that he wasn’t letting go. The wind cools the tears against his cheek and when he looks up, Lucas doesn’t look afraid, eyes bright and reflecting the fire.

“When I am better, I will hold you to this promise.”

When they kiss Eliott has already closed his eyes before they meet. He tastes the sea and salt, feels the warmth that fills him completely. His fingers grip at Lucas' hips, his thumbs run over cool skin, the bumps of jutting bone, runs and smooths over a flat stomach with trembling fingertips. Soft touches, enough to draw out a giggle that Lucas leaves against his lips. 

His hand moves up until he can feel the impossible beat of a heart against his palms. 

Lucas pulls away, forehead rests gently against Eliott’s, hand moving from the tangle of Eliott’s hair to lay atop Eliott’s hands, his fingers a cold embrace. He presses until both their hands lay flat against a heaving chest—pushes like he can feel his own heartbeat simply through the connection of their skin. 

“For us.” He whispers. _My heart beats for us._

Eliott soars. Feels himself lifted, arms moving so that they cradle Lucas like he is more than precious. He uses his strength to flip them so that Lucas is on his back, eyes wide and pupils blown wide and staring up at him. His gaze mirrors the brightest blue of a midnight sky, his hair ruffled and lay victim to the embrace of sand; twinkling crystalline grains that mock Eliott. 

In this moment Eliott wants to beg Lucas to be strong where Eliott was weak. 

"Do you think, if we lie here forever, the ocean will drown us and carry our bodies away?" And for the first time that day Eliott catches a glimpse of fear in those eyes that look up at him imploringly. He reads a vulnerability in the too thin and wiry frame. Sees again that acceptance of a body that has barely survived the onslaught of a sickness, a body made weak from fighting back. 

Eliott doesn't answer. 

Instead Eliott leans down and captures those lips and doesn’t let go. Lets his love pour out; overflow the river banks of his heart so that he leaves behind no confusion of what his feelings are for Lucas. His wants his desires. His hopes and his wishes. He nips and kisses into Lucas long and refuses to part even when both their breaths start to stutter. Even when it feels like his world is on fire. Because he is scared that if he were to let go, he could come to realize his Lucas was little more than a dream . To be gone when he inevitably wakes. 

Not his to hold onto. 

So he molds himself to the shape of Lucas laid out in the sand. Maps him out with his tongue and steals his breath. Stops only when he can feel his head swim and he grows weak from lack of air. When he leans back Lucas has a smile on his face. Chest heaving and lips red and swollen; he darts a tongue out chasing the taste of Eliott. 

“...are you okay?” _Is this okay?_

Lucas shakes his head, a breathy laugh escapes parted lips. His arms move up to loop around Eliott’s neck, trapping him. 

“Please don’t—don’t ever stop.” 

Eliott hears him loud and clear. Lets out a sigh of relief and swallows against a creeping sadness as his walls close in on the both of them. Dips his head and draws Lucas’ lips between his teeth, gently nipping. 

“I won’t. I’ll never stop.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments? Thoughts? Would love to hear them,
> 
> @ bluronyourradar on tumblr


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